Returning To Our First Love

Returning To Our First Love

I was pondering this bible verse in Revelation 2:4-5, Nevertheless I have somewhat against thee, because thou hast left thy first love.  Remember therefore from whence thou art fallen, and repent, and do the first works; or else I will come unto thee quickly, and will remove thy candlestick out of his place, except thou repent.

I began to think about the fact that we say we want a move of God in our lives like we had in the beginning of our walk with God, or even greater, like maybe Azusa Street, or the Isle of Lewis Revival, but do we really? What did our first love look like. When I thought about this I became greatly convicted.

What did my first love look like? I sought God will all my heart, read the bible through in a year. I cried out to God with everything within me for the fullness of the Holy Spirit. I shared my testimony with anybody who would listen. I would stay up all night in any place to share the gospel and try to bring somebody into a saving knowledge of the one I loved. I would spend untold hours trying to bring light and understanding to a lost soul. I would weep over the lost state of those very souls and groan before God for their salvation. I was consumed with a zeal for my Father’s house. I was love sick for my Jesus. What about now? We say we want more of God, but do we really?

If we are to return to our first love, and do greater works than Jesus did, what will we have to do to get there? Will we not have to return to our first works, will we not have to inconvenience ourselves, interrupt our precious me time, our my space, our TV shows, our no access compartments that we feel we need for us? Will we not have to come back to the place where we prefer others as greater than ourselves?

I am all messed up because I watched a DVD called “Compelled By Love” about Rolland & Heidi Baker. As I watched that I saw what real love looked like. It was a love that took no thought about themselves but a laid down life love that went to any lengths to love others into Kingdom of Love. Heidi had kids crawling all over her, nothing of material possessions to worry about, all was given for the love of others. I have never seen anything like it, I have never seen love in action like that before, and that is really a sad thing. I am not like that, but I want to be.

I believe God is calling His people to a place we have never been before, a place where the lost are won by Revelation 12:11, And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony; and they loved not their lives unto the death.

Pastor Judy gave me a DVD by Billye Brim in which she shared a little testimony of a lady that has really impacted my thought for several years. This old lady who was a fireball for God was asked why she had so much energy and her son was so worn out all the time, and she said “ he holds too much of himself for himself”. That is so amazing. When we lose our lives we gain them, when we preserve our lives we lose them. It is lives that are poured out that are always filled. The more we pour out  the more we receive.

So if we really want to see the fire fall, lets be burned up for Christ. If we really want to see the love poured out, let’s pour ourselves out that we might be filled again. We say we want His fullness and a power, but He only fills what is empty. We need to pour our lives out and waste them, like the alabaster box of perfume, on those around us with no respect of persons, because God loves them and poured His life out for every one. I hope you will get that DVD, Compelled By Love, and allow it to mess you up too. God is calling for such a people. Will we answer the call? Or are we to comfortable on our couches of ease,  and isolation enjoying our me time. God forbid.